Friday, May 9, 2014

The First Church of Cinderella

Glass Slipper

As I walked down the street one Sunday morning, a sign caught my attention. It read, “First Church of Cinderella.” I stared at it in wonder for several minutes, my mind running through possible scenarios of what such a church would be like. Did all the women dress in gowns from 1,000 years ago? Was the inside decorated like a medieval castle? At last, overcome by curiosity, I walked in.

Surprisingly, the church was free from tapestries and suits of armor. The church was well lit and modern. Except for the sign-up table for children 8-12 to attend “Fairy Tale Camp” in the summer, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Sounds of music and singing filled my ears and I went in search of it.

Finding the sanctuary, I walked in and slipped into the back row. The upbeat song was extolling the fairy god-mother’s power; it was followed by a slow, moving song about Cinderella’s compassion and kindness.

Pastor Goodheart walked across the platform. “Good morning church,” he said brightly, “please take a moment to greet one another in the name of True Love.” The woman seated in front of me turned around and ecstatically shook my hand, repeating the phrase.

Pastor Goodheart delivered a stirring sermon about Prince Charming’s true love for Cinderella. He applied the prince’s willingness to scour the land, testing every single maiden, until he found “the one” to our own lives by encouraging us to live with that kind of undying, unrelenting love.

The sermon was followed by a moving rendition of “I Could Sing of Their Love Forever.”

As I walked out the pastor shook my hand, smiling broadly. “What did you think of our service this morning?”

“It was…unlike any service I’ve been in before.” I answered truthfully.

“I’m sure it was!”

“You have a beautiful building.”

“We do,” Pastor Goodheart said, looking around proudly.

“I actually have many questions about your beliefs,” I admitted.

“Really? My wife and I would love for you to join us for lunch this afternoon! We can discuss all of your questions.”

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Later, as a waitress set down a basket filled with golden, crispy fries, Mrs. Goodheart turned to me, “My husband tells me you have many questions about our church.”

“Yes!”

“What would you like to know?”

“Well, I have no doubt that you are all very sincere, but I have many doctrinal questions for you.” I flipped open the notebook which I had scribbled questions in during the sermon. They were:
  1. Do you believe in the second coming of the fairy god-mother?
  2. Are mice ministering spirits sent to help us in our times of need?
  3. Have you seen the power of True Love at work in the lives of your congregation members and in your own lives?
  4. Do you believe pumpkins are sacred?
  5. What are your views on Snow White?
I began with the first.

The pastor and his wife exchanged knowing glances. His wife spoke, “Now, we want you to understand something…”

“Yes,” continued the pastor, “We don’t believe that the story of Cinderella literally happened.”

I stared at them, shocked, “Then, you are living a lie!”

“Not at all,” said Mrs. Goodheart, “We truly believe Cinderella has many good principles that we should apply to our everyday lives.”

I sputtered, “Does your congregation know this?!”

The pastor laughed, “Of course! You don’t expect anyone to really believe that story actually happened, do you? Pumpkins turning into carriages and talking mice… it’s all too fantastical.”

His wife smiled, “We aren’t radicals, we’re just trying to make the world around us a better place.”

“But,” I stammered, my mind still reeling, “how can you expect other people to follow ideas from a story that you don’t even believe happened?”

“They see the moral truth of the story.”

“But if none of it is true, how can their lives be truly affected? What motivation do they have to share the story with others? What happens when a situations comes up that they are not strong enough to handle? Who or what can they lean on?”

Pastor Goodheart and his wife answered all my questions with the same calm answer they had been using all along. But I left lunch that day unsatisfied. What good is it dedicating your life to something you don’t believe? How long can that last?


Note:
An allegory is like a parable or fable. It’s a made up story that illustrates a truth. This allegory depicts a group of people who do not believe the events of the Bible literally happened, but that it is, nevertheless, a moral book which we should try to live by. This belief completely misses the point of the Bible. One may as well preach a book of fairytales.

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