Deadlines will be the Death of Me

Deadlines kill me. “Why does this homework have to be due by midnight?” I groan, “If I could just do this at my own pace, life would be so much better!” Then I have to remind myself, if there were no little deadlines, I would find myself at the end of semester with an entire textbook to read and four months of assignments due in 8 hours.

I don’t consider myself to be a procrastinator. That being said, I know that if there were no deadlines, something would always come up that was more urgent than doing my homework. One day I would simply wake up to find myself out of time.

That’s why I’m thankful for weekly classes, checkups with advisors, the necessity of continual studying, and yes, even habitual homework deadlines.

Deadlines are like practice for the real thing. One day, every single one of us will wake up to discover that we are out of time. Our lives have either run their course or been tragically cut short. Most of us, if left on our own, probably wouldn’t make it.

That’s why we have weekly church services, meetings with pastors and mentors, daily personal devotions, prayer time, and communion. Communion is like the little homework deadline so you can ultimately pass the class. It’s a go-no-further-until-you-have-confronted-the-sin-in-your-life-and-surrendered-yourself-to-Christ moment.

We can look at God as that strict teacher who wants to make us miserable over the weekends and nit-picks at every little detail. Or, far more accurately, we can look at Him as that kind teacher who desperately wants us to pass the class. 

Mission: Possible

“Good morning, Mr. Phelps.” We hear a well-known voice above the whir of the old-fashioned tape player. It begins telling our protagonist about the difficult situation America has gotten herself into.

“Your mission Jim, should you choose to accept it…” the voice drones on, “is to fight your way into the heart of the Soviet Union and rescue the daughter of the highest ranking official from an arranged marriage that is meant to unify the Soviet Union and Europe (you will be disguised as a pizza delivery boy). As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim.”

Then, the theme song plays and viewers are thrown into the world of Mission Impossible. It’s a world much like the 1960s, except a hollywood punch can knock a full grown man unconscious and true-to-life masks can save the nation from a nuclear holocaust.

Unlike the American military and their commitment to never leave a fallen comrade, this little force of people must succeed, die trying, or be captured. Even under the horrifying circumstances of capture and torture, the American government promised no help would come. Not only that, they would disavow any knowledge of the team’s actions.

This leaves the force with only one option. They must accomplish their mission, and they must accomplish it alone. 

As Christians, we have been given a high calling. This calling includes (but is not limited to):

• Being holy as God is holy (1 Peter 1:16)
• Loving your enemies (Matthew 5:44)
• Forgiving every offense that comes our way (Mark 11:25)
• Making disciples of the entire world (Matthew 28:19)

Any one of these items is downright impossible, some might say. And they’d be right. While we know that with Jesus, all things are possible, somehow, a little thing called flesh always gets in the way. And we fail. Sometimes it’s a little failure; sometimes it’s a big failure. Sometimes it’s private and no one knows; sometimes the whole world knows.

The cool thing is that God happens to forgive. In addition to this, God has not only instructed the Church to forgive, but to gently restore people when they fail–carrying their burden when they’re too weak to carry it themselves (Galatians 6:1-2).

It’s a very military-esque directive. Restore. Carry. Allow no one to fall into the hands of the enemy.

Like we already established, people fail. Things get especially messy when we fail to restore those who have failed. The effect is something like flesh on steroids: hurtful words cut through the air like bullets, tearing into people and leaving deep wounds and disfiguring scars.

For some reason, we can slip into the feeling that the Church is a Mission Impossible task force. That each must accomplish their own mission and that they must accomplish it alone. Any failure and it is the duty of the church to disavow that individual. This is so tragic. God has His church organized like an army of fellow-soldiers, all pressing for the same goal. The high calling is reachable when we have the Holy Spirit and the correct mindset. Restore. Carry. Allow no one to fall into the hands of the enemy.

Is it hard? Yes. Will we fail sometimes? Yes.

Nevertheless, I submit to you that your mission, should you choose to accept it, is possible. Good luck, Jim.

In Defense of Women AND Photoshop (There's a Twist)

Armed with a screwdriver, nine screws, and three, shiny new door hinges, I set out to rehang my bedroom door. After about 45 minutes of intense effort, I stepped back to proudly survey my work. That’s when my heart dropped. I’ve never seen a door quite that crooked…except perhaps in Dr. Seuss books.

What went wrong? Well, the screwdriver. Obviously the door is crooked because of the screwdriver.

If you know me at all, you probably have already guessed that I didn’t really try to rehang my bedroom door (although if I had, the result probably would have been the same). Though I gave a fictitious illustration, the point rings true. It never makes sense to blame a tool; the fault always lies with the person wielding the tool.

I just watched Colbie Caillat’s new music video, “Try.” Guess what, I loved it! The message is about the expectations “they” place on girls and women, what “they” say we need to do to be accepted. But, “You don't have to try so hard,” she sings, “you don't have to give it all away.” She encouraged girls not to bend until they break, to take their make-up off, and to let their hair down. To show she practices what she preaches, *ahem* sings, Colbie performs the final moments of the video with no makeup on. No airbrushing. No hair extensions.

What is the message that people get from this video? That the culture has been oppressing women long enough with their standard of beauty? That God created everyone beautiful in their own way?

Well, not exactly.

“Colbie Caillat Fires Back At Photoshop” headlines read. “Colbie Caillat Rallies Against Photoshop In 'Try' Music Video." I just have to shake my head in amazement. Did the people writing these articles and headlines ever bother to notice that Colbie never once mentions Photoshop in her song? Her lyrics pointedly talk about the culture we live in. She rallies not against the tool, but against those wielding it.

It turns out that this song reminded me of a verse or two in the Bible (surprise, surprise). Peter advices women, “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful.” (1 Peter 3:3-5)

My take-away from this verse is that, not only should we not give into the pressure of the world around us to starve ourselves, slather on make-up, and buy tons of jewelry to look beautiful; we shouldn’t be concerned with outward beauty at all. Beauty, after all, fades. A gentle and quite spirit is where true, inward beauty lies.

And do you know what? What’s on the inside can’t help but show on the outside.

What I Ask

I don’t ask for a life of bliss,
I’ve seen what too much ease and too much comfort can bring.

I don’t ask for all love and no loss,
Loss forces us to love more deeply and truly those we have left.

I don’t ask for a life devoid of sacrifice,
Sacrifice turns our attention from ourselves to others.

I don’t ask to be sheltered from suffering,
I ask to be given courage and grace to relieve the world’s suffering.

I don’t ask for pain to never touch me,
I ask for the strength to bear the pain when it does.

No, I don’t ask for a blissful life,
I ask to walk the hard life.

I ask to walk through this thick darkness,
Shining as a light, leading people to Him who gives True Life.

I ask to one day lie my weary head down,
Only to open my eyes to the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

I ask to spend this life in pursuit of that Next Life.

When You Judge a Book by it's Cover

I know that they tell you not to judge a book by it’s cover, but that is a rule that I literally break on a regular basis (it’s a side effect of being a graphic designer). Sure, there have been the rare occasions that I read a book with a bad cover that I thoroughly enjoyed and vice versa, but for the sake of this blog post, we won’t dwell on those.

This story begins last year while I was in the Family Christian Bookstore and saw the book cover for Fatherless. It seized my attention. Noting that the book was written by Dr. James Dobson, I flipped open the book and read the synopsis. Incredibly intrigued but not willing to pay the $25 price tag, I regretfully put the book back on the shelf.

Fast-foward to February of 2014, I signed up for a subscription for Audible. Audio books and dramatic audio presentations are like my daily bread, I love having my mind occupied while cleaning, cooking, sewing, designing graphics, etc. Care to take a guess at what my first audio download was? If you guessed Fatherless, you’d be absolutely correct. In less than 48 hours I had eagerly devoured the entire thing.

In Fatherless, Dr. James Dobson and Kurt Bruner depict America 28 years in the future. They explore the dire consequences that could result if America continues on the path she is currently on. It is 2042: the world has past a tipping point. For the first time in history, developed nations have more retired elderly than young workers who can sustain them. The planet finds itself in the midst of an economical collapse. The solution? The president introduced a “forward-thinking” plan called the Youth Initiative. In this plan, elderly can choose to end their life by euthanasia in order to “transition” their wealth and assets to their children and grandchildren.

The stage being thus set, enter Julia Davidson, Troy Simmons, Kevin and Angie Tolbert, Matthew Adams, and a slew of supporting characters whom we grow to love, hate, cry for, and celebrate with throughout the trilogy (Fatherless, Childless, and Godless).

This series may be too political for some, but I loved the blend of social problems, politics, mystery, relationships, morality, ethics, and even spiritual warfare. I encourage you to give this trilogy a try. I should note that this series grapples with some pretty weighty topics (as you’ll quickly discover from the opening sentence of the forward), suicide, abortion, this series has it all. I should also note that the trilogy has some mature-ish content that seems to be aimed more toward married audiences, so I don’t know that I can recommend these to anyone younger than myself.

In Fatherless, Childless, and Godless two diametrically opposed world-views clash as America becomes hostile territory to the family and Christianity. The trilogy relentlessly calls for Christians to be a “bright-spot” in an increasingly dark world.

The First Church of Cinderella

As I walked down the street one Sunday morning, a sign caught my attention. It read, “First Church of Cinderella.” I stared at it in wonder for several minutes, my mind running through possible scenarios of what such a church would be like. Did all the women dress in gowns from 1,000 years ago? Was the inside decorated like a medieval castle? At last, overcome by curiosity, I walked in.

Surprisingly, the church was free from tapestries and suits of armor. The church was well lit and modern. Except for the sign-up table for children 8-12 to attend “Fairy Tale Camp” in the summer, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Sounds of music and singing filled my ears and I went in search of it.

Finding the sanctuary, I walked in and slipped into the back row. The upbeat song was extolling the fairy god-mother’s power; it was followed by a slow, moving song about Cinderella’s compassion and kindness.

Pastor Goodheart walked across the platform. “Good morning church,” he said brightly, “please take a moment to greet one another in the name of True Love.” The woman seated in front of me turned around and ecstatically shook my hand, repeating the phrase.

Pastor Goodheart delivered a stirring sermon about Prince Charming’s true love for Cinderella. He applied the prince’s willingness to scour the land, testing every single maiden, until he found “the one” to our own lives by encouraging us to live with that kind of undying, unrelenting love.

The sermon was followed by a moving rendition of “I Could Sing of Their Love Forever.”

As I walked out the pastor shook my hand, smiling broadly. “What did you think of our service this morning?”

“It was…unlike any service I’ve been in before.” I answered truthfully.

“I’m sure it was!”

“You have a beautiful building.”

“We do,” Pastor Goodheart said, looking around proudly.

“I actually have many questions about your beliefs,” I admitted.

“Really? My wife and I would love for you to join us for lunch this afternoon! We can discuss all of your questions.”

--

Later, as a waitress set down a basket filled with golden, crispy fries, Mrs. Goodheart turned to me, “My husband tells me you have many questions about our church.”

“Yes!”

“What would you like to know?”

“Well, I have no doubt that you are all very sincere, but I have many doctrinal questions for you.” I flipped open the notebook which I had scribbled questions in during the sermon. They were:

1. Do you believe in the second coming of the fairy god-mother?
2. Are mice ministering spirits sent to help us in our times of need?
3. Have you seen the power of True Love at work in the lives of your congregation members and in your own lives?
4. Do you believe pumpkins are sacred?
5. What are your views on Snow White?

I began with the first.

The pastor and his wife exchanged knowing glances. His wife spoke, “Now, we want you to understand something…”

“Yes,” continued the pastor, “We don’t believe that the story of Cinderella literally happened.”

I stared at them, shocked, “Then, you are living a lie!”

“Not at all,” said Mrs. Goodheart, “We truly believe Cinderella has many good principles that we should apply to our everyday lives.”

I sputtered, “Does your congregation know this?!”

The pastor laughed, “Of course! You don’t expect anyone to really believe that story actually happened, do you? Pumpkins turning into carriages and talking mice… it’s all too fantastical.”

His wife smiled, “We aren’t radicals, we’re just trying to make the world around us a better place.”

“But,” I stammered, my mind still reeling, “how can you expect other people to follow ideas from a story that you don’t even believe happened?”

“They see the moral truth of the story.”

“But if none of it is true, how can their lives be truly affected? What motivation do they have to share the story with others? What happens when a situations comes up that they are not strong enough to handle? Who or what can they lean on?”

Pastor Goodheart and his wife answered all my questions with the same calm answer they had been using all along. But I left lunch that day unsatisfied. What good is it dedicating your life to something you don’t believe? How long can that last?


Note:
An allegory is like a parable or fable. It’s a made up story that illustrates a truth. This allegory depicts a group of people who do not believe the events of the Bible literally happened, but that it is, nevertheless, a moral book which we should try to live by. This belief completely misses the point of the Bible. One may as well preach a book of fairytales.

It's Not Personal

Artists are temperamental, so they say. But are they really? And do they have have reason to be more emotional or sensitive than anyone else?

Here’s what I think: The entire creative process, the birth of an idea, the development of a concept, finding just the right element to make your creation click, seeing something that was once only an idea in your head become a tangible reality is a very personal processes. Designers, artists, composers, and authors, (by some mysterious process) are able to express what they’re feeling and thinking. Our thoughts, our inspirations, our preferences, our personality, our tastes, all of these make us who we are. It’s shouldn’t be a surprise that what we create feels like a reflection of ourselves.

When people reject what we make, it can feel like they’re rejecting us. I struggled with this as a young designer (I’m still young, but think early and mid teens). Because I was self-taught, I made (or rather, tried to make) what seemed right to me. I felt my way though it. This made rejection even harder to deal with, because on the surface, you know that they are not rejecting you. But, deep down on that level of feeling where you create, you feel like they are.

Thankfully, I had a lot of positive feedback. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for several awesome people cheering me on. However, on those occasions when someone didn’t like my design, it just sucked all the wind out of my sails. The closer I was to the person who critiqued it and the more I had poured into it, the more hurt I felt.

There are two things I’ve learned to do that help me deal with this:

1.  Realize that my preferences and styles are not who I am. Seriously. I had to come to this conscience realization. They are not me. I am a soul which was created by God. All these other things that feel so integral to who I am, is, in the end, just surface stuff.
2.  Divorce myself from my design. Divorce is a harsh-but-fitting word. After spend hours of quality time making my design exactly what it needed to be, I’ve learned to step back and walk away for a bit. When I return, I look critically and analytically. It does take some of the joy out of designing but it has also improved my skill.

If you’re just venturing into this great world of art (or creative design in any sense), find yourself people who will cheer you on but will also help to develop your skill. Don’t become offended when someone offers their opinion or wants you to give them different options. It’s all a part of learning and growing.

Hook, Line, & Sinker

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is very dangerous.”
- P.G. Wodehouse

When I was younger, I didn’t like the term “redhead.” To my very opinionated, eight-year old mind, my hair was not red, and it most definitely was not orange. Eventually I settled on the term “rusty copper” to describe my locks. (Never mind that when copper rusts, it turns a gross, mossy, green color.) Rusty copper just sounded quaint and dignified. Eventually I learned to not mind the good natured jokes about my hair color; I even gave up calling it rusty copper when I saw an actual rusted-over copper statue in DC.

I’m not sure why everyone seems to have an array of impressive one-liners they like to pull out every time a redhead appears, but they do. My personal favorite is, “Your hair is really red! You must have quite the temper!”

It’s at these times that I take a deep breath, swallow back my supposedly fiery temper, force a laugh, and say, “Ha! Never heard that one before!”

There are things in all of our lives that act like built-in excuses. It would be easy to allow my temper to flare often because “I’m a redhead.” Or I could get away with being shy because “I was homeschooled.” Some build walls and refuse to connect with others because they have “trust issues.” Others shrug and say it’s alright for them to be blunt and offensive because it’s just the “way they are.” And still others think they can be obnoxious because it’s the “way they were raised.” I found that many times we didn’t come up with these excuses on our own, usually comments from family, friends, or even strangers handed us these excuses on a silver platter. It’s so easy to swallow these excuses hook, line, and sinker! Before long, it becomes acceptable–even expected–for us to indulge bad (and sometimes sinful) actions.

Somewhere along the way I determined I was never going to use my hair color as an excuse to not control my temper; call it redheaded stubbornness if you will. (See how easy it is to pull these out?) I love what Paul wrote to Timothy. In Heather’s Very English translation, he said, “Don’t allow anyone to despise and look down on you because you’re young. Instead, be an example to every believer in how you talk, act, and love. Also in your attitude, faith, and purity.”

Paul was challenging Timothy not to resort to lazy or irresponsible behavior just because everyone expected it of him.

Well Paul, challenge accepted.

Of Monkeys, Textbooks, and Gender

“Sociologists suggest that socialization, rather than biology, usually influences what we see as appropriate behaviors for different genders.”

I’m a college-goer now, and I’m afraid that this is an excerpt from my rather expensive textbook. The required class, Contemporary American Society, quotes Karl Marx more often than Abraham Lincoln (actually, I have yet to see a quote from our 16th president) and the author does little to hide his obvious biases.

The chapter on sexuality is especially hard for me to swallow (hence this blog post). The author is informing us that socialization is what determines traits in humans. In other words, girls like to play with dolls because parents push dolls on them from a young age and boys roughhouse because it’s what everyone expects. The idea that boys will boys simple because they’re boys is viewed as old-fashioned by “modern” thinkers such as my highly esteemed curriculum writer.

As I scanned the first few pages, something about that statement grabbed my attention. “Sociologists suggest…” Which sociologists? Surely not all of them. If not all, than how many? Even if all hold this view, wouldn’t it only seem right that sociologists chalk everything up to sociology? What do other people in scientific fields have to say?

Thanks to Google, I came across a fantastic little article. In 2002, a study was conducted on monkeys. The monkeys showed the exact same preference for certain gender-specific toys that children do. The results proved that preferences and traits are inherently biological (boys will be boys simply because they’re boys). This shocking study was later duplicated with a different species of primate, yet demonstrated the same results.

While the author ascribes the findings to evolution rather than to a God who created certain things to be innate inside of humans (and yes, even animals), I encourage you to read the article (click here).

In the end, the THINK textbook can say what it will; I discovered that facts support what I already believed to be true. Although I cringe at the thought of paying for these “core” classes that clash with my beliefs, I intend to only come out firmer and more grounded in my beliefs than when I went in.