Fearful

Revelation 21:8: But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. 

Yes. I know this does seem like a strange verse to base an entire blog post on. Actually, it’s not as odd as it seems... this is one of the verses we have  get to memorize for Bible Quizzing this year. One day, one of the words suddenly struck me: fearful. Woah. That can’t be right. I must have gotten the words mixed up. It’s probably supposed to say ‘but the prideful, and unbelieving...”

But no. The word is fearful. This seems odd, a fearful person lumped into the same category as murderers? As whoremongers and idolaters? I can see how fear might not be the best character trait, but this seems a little but harsh!

In truth, it’s more than harsh. This hits home. You see, I can be very fearful. The fear of what others think of me influences what I do and say more than I like to admit. Fear of my own inadequacies prevent me from stepping out and aspiring to bigger and greater things. Fear of the course our country and world are taking can overwhelm me. In short, according to Revelation 21:8, I–along with the unbelieving and murderers–will be excluded from heaven.

Right?

Well, yes and no. 

Allow me to elaborate. Did you know that fear is a noun? It’s an idea or a feeling, just like inspiration or awe. That means that by itself, fear as wrong as a table or a tree (also nouns). 

Fear must be acted on, however. For example: let’s pretend that you were really afraid of big yellow balloons. One day you are walking down the road, and someone offers you a free, big, yellow balloon. You have two options at this point: 1) Accept the ballon despite your fear and continue on your walk, or, 2) Shrink back in fear (the balloon is really scary after all), and run away screaming.

If you chose number one, you acted in spite of your fear. Good job! 

If you chose number two, you were driven by your fear. :(  I’m sorry, that was the wrong answer. 

Another negative response to fear is demonstrated in a story found in Matthew 8: Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. So the men marveled, saying, “Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?” 

When you act in spite of your fear and counteract your fear with faith, you get what is commonly known as courage. Joshua 1:7 says, “Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.”
 

When your driven by your fear, you are demonstrating a lack of faith. This is the destructive fear referred to in Revelations 21:8 and in Matthew 8. This is contrary to scripture. 2 Timothy 1:4 states, “ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

At times it seems like the deeper I look into my heart, the more doubt and fear I find hidden there. Just when it seems like I’m drawing close God and He is using me, I find yet another thing that needs to be removed. Perhaps this is why Paul, in his letter to Timothy towards the end of his life, stated that he was chief among sinners. You can never achieve perfection here in this life, for life is a journey of perfecting. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, we need to give up things that we want to cling to. Yes, we have to surrender ourselves over and over again. But, it’ll be worth it all one day. 

Let’s not be fearful. 

Beauty–Through the Eyes of a Child

My aunt was beautiful. Sure, her glasses were quirky and her sense of style wasn’t exactly cutting edge, but I never noticed. 

She was getting married, and I was going to be one of the flower girls (something I had wanted to do ever since my best friend had been a flower girl a couple years prior). I had a beautiful dress, the rollers were in my hair, and all the adults were abuzz with excitement while they were getting ready.

A few cousins and I giggled as we darted in and out of the various rooms in my grandpa’s house only hours before the wedding. I was just 7, and this was my first time in a wedding.

On the way to the church, I remember my aunt turning in the passenger seat to talk to someone behind her. That was the first time I had seen her with her hair done and her makeup on. I started. What had they done to her? I was horrified, why–on her wedding day of all days–would her well meaning sisters and aunts make her look ugly? Scary even? It just didn’t make sense; people were supposed to be beautiful at their weddings, weren’t they?

A child’s natural reaction to make-up is to disdain it. They see it for what it really is: a facade. Over time, children grow up (obviously), and their mindsets change. I did, and mine has.

True beauty is something that is easy to lose sight of, especially when the culture shoves billboards and magazine ads in our faces, screaming “SEE?! THIS IS REAL BEAUTY!’  Eventually, we begin to agree with them. “Yes,” we reply, “that is how to look beautiful.”

Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” How easy that is to forget! A month or two ago, I was reminded of this verse again. You see, I read a quote that will probably always stick with me. It said, “I would rather be a Proverbs 31 woman than a super model.”

I love that! Here is a woman that has made pleasing God her ultimate goal, not the pleasing the world. I’m thankful that I have many women like her in my life who tell me to do this every day. Oh, they don’t tell me with words, they tell me with their actions. I want to thank them, I hope one day I can do the same thing.

Super Human

“I need Jesus.”

This is something that I know very well to be true. I know my faults, my insecurities and fears, what things tempt me, and what patterns of thought I am quick to leap into. These things leave me convinced that I am not able to do life on my own, I need God. After all, I’m only human.

“Susie needs Jesus.”

I also admit that my friend, “Susie,” needs God. I can see for myself that she has struggles. I was with her only last week when her dog died, her curling iron caught on fire, and her boyfriend broke up with her in one afternoon! She needs a strength, other than her own, to rely on. After all, she’s only human. 

“Mr. Johnson needs Jesus.”

I am even willing concede that my neighbor, “Mr. Johnson,” needs Jesus. I may not be able to say this from first hand experience, but he hasn’t mowed his lawn in almost two months, the weeds are almost as high as his windows. I think he probably has some issues he needs help dealing with. After all, he’s only human.

“Whitney Houston does not need Jesus.”

Whitney Houston is gorgeous, has a voice that just might put angels to shame, lives in a mansion, has the perfect family, and makes more money in one year than I will see in ten! Her life is perfectly put together. After all, she’s like, super human.

Oh, never mind that last one, I just saw the headlines....

Do you see the sheer inconsistency of my reasoning? How ridiculous it looks written out? I do.  I have to confess that I make this mistake all the time. Elevating people to a “super human” status, I pass them by. “This person is gorgeous; she doesn’t need God,” or, “This person is loaded; he doesn't need a savior.”

Saturday, the world was shocked to discover that Whitney Houston had died, likely from drug abuse. Fox News, after writing a glowing report of her accomplishments during the 80’s, had this to say: “But by the end of her career, Houston became a stunning cautionary tale of the toll of drug use. Her album sales plummeted and the hits stopped coming; her once serene image was shattered by a wild demeanor and bizarre public appearances. She confessed to abusing cocaine, marijuana and pills, and her once-pristine voice became raspy and hoarse, unable to hit the high notes as she had during her prime.”

Alright, so Whitney Houston wasn’t super human. She was like the billions of people in this world, who after surrounding themselves with everything imaginable, found it wasn’t enough to bring them fulfillment.

I wonder if there was anyone who was courageous enough to see through the superman facade and see the ordinary person underneath. Was there anyone who was a beacon of light to her? If I had been there, would I have been able to?

Tea on a Snowy Day

There's just something soothing about watching snow fall. I'm sitting on our window seat with a cup of chai tea in my hand, and life just seems... right. All of my questions and doubts have disappeared along with the few remaining tips of grass. The silence is peaceful. It almost feels as if God has hit the pause button on life and time is at a stand-still (although I can see the second hand ticking away, so I know it's not). 

I'm almost done with my reverie (I have school work waiting), but if I can just offer a thought. It's so easy to get caught up in things that aren't even that important. People argue their sides, offend their friends, and become so invested emotionally in the things that are temporary.

About a week ago, Pastor Soto said, "When your eyes are locked on Jesus, you can't fail. It's when you turn your eyes on self that sin happens." I think having these quiet times helps us to refocus. Everybody should drink some tea on a snowy day......or you can have coffee, whatever floats your boat.

Back to Square One

"This is the challenge I’m taking upon myself: Will my life be a meaningless vapor, filled with these and thats, or can I rise to the call God has placed on my life, no matter what it may be, and make a lasting impact on my culture for Him?"

That is an excerpt from my first blog post back in May. When I read it, I feel like smiling at the naive little girl who wrote this (albeit, this was only 7 or 8 months ago). If I knew what was coming, could I have written it?

You see, God has been dealing with me. In the middle of a sermon about something completely unrelated, I felt something strongly impressed into my heart.

Graphics, give up graphics.

My response? I can tell you, I didn't fall on my knees and and say "Yes, Lord, Your will be done!" No. My response was, "Um, God, in case you haven't noticed, I'm actually getting paid jobs now, from people outside my own church!"

Give up graphics.

"Lord, if you didn't know, this is what I'm going to go to college for in the fall!" 

Give up graphics.

"No, you don't understand! I'm a graphic designer. This is my career your talking about here!"

Give up graphics.

"But, God! Graphics is who I am! Graphics is what I'm good at!"

I won't tell you the rest of the lengthy, rather one-sided conversation, but I was really tempted to pretend I didn't hear what God was saying and simply continue doing what I was doing. But I knew that in the end, I didn't want to do something that God wouldn't bless. 

So? I've laid it down. It was a decision I made that night at the altar, but it's also a decision I have to make every day.

I don't really know what God's purpose is, or what the outcome will be. Maybe this is simply a test to see if I'll trust Him. It could be that there are things in me that He needs to deal with. Or, God might not intend me to be a graphic designer. 

Only God knows. His will, not mine, be done.

Where Does Your Strength Lie?

"So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me where your great strength lies" –Judges 16:6

Several years ago, in Adventure Sunday, the teachers used kids from the audience to act out the story of Samson. The main character was played by this short, skinny little kid. We all thought it was hilarious, I mean he was the exact opposite of what Samson would have looked like! I called the poor kid Samson for years after that (drove him crazy!).


Today, I was randomly thinking about Samson (I'm kinda weird like that), and It dawned on me that maybe our Adventure Sunday leaders weren't too far from the truth. If Samson looked like the Incredible Hulk (but without green skin) why would Delilah need to ask him where his strength lie? I mean, come on, if the guy had muscles bulging out of places where most people don't even have places, why would you even assume there was any secret to his strength?! 


I think I'm beginning to understand that God doesn't use us because of our strengths; He uses us in-spite of them. Paul was a highly educated Pharisee–he was the perfect choice to preach to the jews–yet, God sent him to the gentiles. Peter was just an ignorant fisherman from Galilee–impulsive and unrefined–but, he was sent to the Jews.


2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”


Maybe we just need to get out of the way and let God do His thing... He is God after all.

The Unanswered Question

   Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people.

                                                         -Exodus 33:13

I'm a Bible Quizzer, most of you already know that in quizzing there are a ton of different kinds of questions: quotations, cross-refrences, direct, parts etc… No matter what kind it is, however, there are only four ways to respond to a question. Your response tells the team you are competing against, and everybody watching, a lot about yourself.

Response #1 - Interrupt. That shows you have confidence, that you are prepared and have studied. You know the risks but have decided to take them anyway. Whether you get it right or wrong, you still have gained the respect of the other quizzers because you tried. If you keep doing this, eventually, you'll win.

Response #2 - Wait until the end. One way to answer a question is to wait until right after the quizmaster gets done reading, then buzz in. People do this because they aren't as prepared, and hence not willing to take the risk. 

Response #3 - Get the reread. The other team interrupted, got it wrong, then the question is read just to your team. This one is a no-brainer! You had the opportunity to answer twice, so you will (probably) get it right.

Response #4 - Do nothing. When you do nothing, this leaves the question unanswered. The quizmaster reads the question, but no one interrupts. Not one person buzzes in after he's done. For five seconds the room is completely silent. Time is called. The question is closed. The quiz moves on. Then the audience starts whispering, "Even I knew the answer to that!" "Why didn't yellow one buzz in?" "That was too easy!" 

Letting a question go by unanswered shows you are not prepared. It shows you do not know the material, that you aren't referenced or charted, and that you don't think the risk is greater then the need.

There are questions that haunt millions of people around the globe. What are they? You hear them every day, "Who am I?" "Why am I here?" "What is my purpose?" 

David is just one of the many people across the globe who have prayed that God would show them His purpose:

 Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths.

 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. 

                                                -Psalm 25:4-5

God's purpose for us is extremely important. If we don't know it, we have no burden, we can't become the best that we can be, we have no passion, the list can go on and on. 

I'm only 17, but January is running at me full speed, bringing with it adulthood (scary!). Now would be the time to figure out the little things, like my career, where I want to go to college, and what God's plan for me is. 

You see, when I get to heaven, I want to hear God say, "Well done thou good and faithful servant." Not, "Oh Heather… if only you knew what My will was for you... the things you could've been and done.... Oh well, at least you made it, that counts for something!" 

Discovering God's will, and doing it, is the most important thing in my life right now. I want my ministry to have God's blessing and anointing on it. I want everything I do to be for God's glory. When I get to heaven, I want to hear Him say, "Well done."

I can't afford to let these questions go unanswered.