It's Not Personal

Artists are temperamental, so they say. But are they really? And do they have have reason to be more emotional or sensitive than anyone else?

Here’s what I think: The entire creative process, the birth of an idea, the development of a concept, finding just the right element to make your creation click, seeing something that was once only an idea in your head become a tangible reality is a very personal processes. Designers, artists, composers, and authors, (by some mysterious process) are able to express what they’re feeling and thinking. Our thoughts, our inspirations, our preferences, our personality, our tastes, all of these make us who we are. It’s shouldn’t be a surprise that what we create feels like a reflection of ourselves.

When people reject what we make, it can feel like they’re rejecting us. I struggled with this as a young designer (I’m still young, but think early and mid teens). Because I was self-taught, I made (or rather, tried to make) what seemed right to me. I felt my way though it. This made rejection even harder to deal with, because on the surface, you know that they are not rejecting you. But, deep down on that level of feeling where you create, you feel like they are.

Thankfully, I had a lot of positive feedback. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for several awesome people cheering me on. However, on those occasions when someone didn’t like my design, it just sucked all the wind out of my sails. The closer I was to the person who critiqued it and the more I had poured into it, the more hurt I felt.

There are two things I’ve learned to do that help me deal with this:

1.  Realize that my preferences and styles are not who I am. Seriously. I had to come to this conscience realization. They are not me. I am a soul which was created by God. All these other things that feel so integral to who I am, is, in the end, just surface stuff.
2.  Divorce myself from my design. Divorce is a harsh-but-fitting word. After spend hours of quality time making my design exactly what it needed to be, I’ve learned to step back and walk away for a bit. When I return, I look critically and analytically. It does take some of the joy out of designing but it has also improved my skill.

If you’re just venturing into this great world of art (or creative design in any sense), find yourself people who will cheer you on but will also help to develop your skill. Don’t become offended when someone offers their opinion or wants you to give them different options. It’s all a part of learning and growing.

Hook, Line, & Sinker

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is very dangerous.”
- P.G. Wodehouse

When I was younger, I didn’t like the term “redhead.” To my very opinionated, eight-year old mind, my hair was not red, and it most definitely was not orange. Eventually I settled on the term “rusty copper” to describe my locks. (Never mind that when copper rusts, it turns a gross, mossy, green color.) Rusty copper just sounded quaint and dignified. Eventually I learned to not mind the good natured jokes about my hair color; I even gave up calling it rusty copper when I saw an actual rusted-over copper statue in DC.

I’m not sure why everyone seems to have an array of impressive one-liners they like to pull out every time a redhead appears, but they do. My personal favorite is, “Your hair is really red! You must have quite the temper!”

It’s at these times that I take a deep breath, swallow back my supposedly fiery temper, force a laugh, and say, “Ha! Never heard that one before!”

There are things in all of our lives that act like built-in excuses. It would be easy to allow my temper to flare often because “I’m a redhead.” Or I could get away with being shy because “I was homeschooled.” Some build walls and refuse to connect with others because they have “trust issues.” Others shrug and say it’s alright for them to be blunt and offensive because it’s just the “way they are.” And still others think they can be obnoxious because it’s the “way they were raised.” I found that many times we didn’t come up with these excuses on our own, usually comments from family, friends, or even strangers handed us these excuses on a silver platter. It’s so easy to swallow these excuses hook, line, and sinker! Before long, it becomes acceptable–even expected–for us to indulge bad (and sometimes sinful) actions.

Somewhere along the way I determined I was never going to use my hair color as an excuse to not control my temper; call it redheaded stubbornness if you will. (See how easy it is to pull these out?) I love what Paul wrote to Timothy. In Heather’s Very English translation, he said, “Don’t allow anyone to despise and look down on you because you’re young. Instead, be an example to every believer in how you talk, act, and love. Also in your attitude, faith, and purity.”

Paul was challenging Timothy not to resort to lazy or irresponsible behavior just because everyone expected it of him.

Well Paul, challenge accepted.